Homeschool as an Alternative

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One of the main reasons we decided to homeschool our toddler (I guess it was because I managed to sell the idea to hubby too) was that I wanted our toddler to pursue her interests and be who she wants to be without being restricted by society's expectations.

It is also vital that she adheres to the followings of the Quran and Sunnah in addition to having strong moral values and possess a pleasant personality.

If only there was a homeschool option back in the day, it would have been a different story for me, personally.

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I managed to secure a spot in a boarding school at the age of 16 after scoring not-so-bad results in my PMR. 



What I wasn't prepared for (and wished somebody had warned me about) was the culture shock. 

The culture shock was overwhelming.

Ok, washing your own clothes, hanging them out to dry and folding them wasn't too bad. 

Or the disappointment of seeing your laundry drenched right after a heavy downpour as you couldn't get to it since you were in school earlier was salvageable. 

Or when you were just about to doze off for an afternoon siesta and you saw a pair of hairy arms at your window trying to grab anything off your study table for them to eat was a different experience. (The hairy arms belonged to the monkeys from the nearby forest who so happened to pay your hostel a visit).

Or when someone forgot to close the door to your hostel and the same monkey 'friends' invited themselves into the building whilst having a field day jumping on our beds, ripping open the cupboards to look for snacks or decided that talcum powder was food and started chewing the bottle whilst getting powder all over its face! 

Or when you and some friends just bought food from the food stalls where they hold 'pasar malam' week every Saturday evening and as you start walking back to your hostel, your monkey 'friends' start following you or chasing you if you start running.

Or when you decided to have a study group outdoors and brought along snacks to munch on, the same monkey 'friends' decided that they want to 'help' you out with your homework too. 

All the above sounds manageable, albeit a bit upsetting at first. 

What I wasn't prepared for was the following ...


PROHIBITED FROM TALKING TO OUR COLLEAGUES OF THE OPPOSITE SEX

We couldn't talk to boys AT ALL from our batch.

Avoid boys like a plague. 

You want to talk to a boy in class or in public? Sure, go ahead. 

They'd label you a loose girl.

Even if your discussion revolved around schoolwork or he just wanted to borrow a pen. 

I remember being woken up harshly at 1am, thought it was a dream until my roommate dragged me out of bed. 

Ok ok I'm up! As I walked groggily following her closely behind whilst I was trying to get my bearings right.

I saw my colleagues walking out of their rooms, quizzical expressions plastered on their faces as we walked together into a senior's room. 

Once inside, I could see all the seniors sitting on beds whereas we were huddled on the floor. 

They started lecturing us on why we shouldn't be talking to boys. 

NO TALKING TO BOYS. 

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An extremely important discussion at 1 o'clock in the morning.

If any of us were seen talking to boys, we'll be having these important sessions at 1 o'clock in the morning and we'd better be prepared to face their questions. 

One of my colleagues was being interrogated in front of all of us.

I was thinking to myself, how embarrassing this must be for her!

They threw questions at her: 

"Why did you speak to this boy?" 

"What business did you have with this boy?" 

"Make sure you do NOT speak to this boy or any other boys for that matter, understood?"

They raised their voices. 

They pointed fingers at her (I could sense their anger and they were so close to jabbing her in the face!). 

They clearly made their point to the rest of us.

Lesson to be learnt, amid quite a harsh one at that. 

It was probably more than one hour where we were held 'hostage'.

Throughout the entire duration, my peers and I didn't dare look up.

We had our eyes fixed on the floor.

I felt like I had committed a crime and was waiting for my sentence. 

Unfortunately, it was not the one and only time we were being called into our senior's room.

There were other sessions too and it was on petty things which I felt wasn't worth mulling over.

It was quite devastating. 

When our seniors left and we became seniors, we still couldn't talk to boys.

Our peers who enrolled into the school at the age of 13 considered themselves seniors. 

They were the ones who continued the tradition of waking up people at 1am and lecturing us, even if it wasn't OUR fault! 

No point talking to a school warden about it, you'd be targeted for being soft and face the risk of being an outcast. 

You just have to face it head-on.


NAME CALLING

One of the extra-curricular activities I enrolled myself into was Girl Scouts.

Camping is fun, right?

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Bonfire, sing-a-longs (even if you're out of tune, no one would notice as they're out of tune too), marshmallows, playing the guitar, sharing ghost stories, cooking outdoors and having fun outdoor activities. 

What I didn't know was that we needed to join the Boy Scouts since we had the same teacher lead the scouts. 

Oh my gosh, that means we have to TALK to these boys, right? 

So when we went on camping trips held within the school vicinity (in a forest adjacent to our school) where we combined our activity with other uniformed units, that's when the name calling started. 

Every single time the Girl Scouts were called upon or it was our turn to perform or do any activity, boys from other uniformed units would call us a name. 

Each time they called us that name, they'd be snickering and laughing and looking at us. 

I was very curious so I asked one of the boys from the Boy Scouts. 

The nice and innocent looking boy who scores straight As in his subjects and even if you were seen talking to him, no one would bat an eyelid and no one would wake you up at 1am demanding an explanation from you on why you spoke to him. 

I guess he was an exception.

I found out from him that the name had actually meant 'pros*&%#$e'.

I was fuming with anger and I guessed he noticed as I got red in the face.

How dare they!

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The only reason why the Girl Scouts were being called as such was due to us having combined sessions with the Boy Scouts.

It totally ripped my heart each time I think of this. 



BEING DIFFERENT

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No, you can't be different in this school. 

You have to be the same like all the others. 

Conform and say YES to everything. 

Which means that if you have an advantage over others, you'd probably be isolated by your peers and they'd start a rumour or influence other people to avoid you like the plague.

Sounds easy to me to just go with the flow as long as I'm not an outcast.

Except that teachers may take a liking at you and pull you into the limelight, to help you realise your potential.

Your peers would start calling you a teacher's pet, blue-eyed girl, etc.

I was constantly sneered at each time I opened my mouth to speak or if I aced ONE subject (which was the only ONE subject I was good at).

I was called by the teachers to join the school debating team and the school's publication team. 

The more my peers hated me. 

My homeroom teacher came to my class on my birthday during prep time (study time) and handed me a birthday card. 

My homeroom peers said they didn't receive any cards from him on THEIR birthday.

They spread the word and other people who weren't even within the same homeroom started to show their dislike towards me too. 

Like, seriously, I thought this only happened when you were 8 or 10 years old.

"Don't friend with her ok, she's a teacher's pet."

"Jangan kawan dia tau, budak tu nak menunjuk je. Macam bagus."


FEELING STUPID

Because it was a boarding school and to enrol into this school requires one to perform in their exams, everyone in this school is smart, with the exception of me, of course.

So when you don't perform in your subjects, you'd think that you're really really dumb in comparison to the others.

It doesn't help when the school publishes your exam results on the school's notice board for all to see.

I know it is meant to motivate you to work harder but it was a harsh blow to my self-esteem.

Throughout my entire two years, I honestly believed that I was a hopeless dumb student who just can't ace her subjects. :(

I strongly believed that I was a failure. 

I forced myself to study and memorise just to pass my exams.  

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Because I was conditioned as such in those 2 years, I mostly kept to myself in the first year when I went to university. 

I always felt that I wasn't good enough in my studies and was probably wasting my time and my parents' money. 

Only after I've observed how different the university environment was (in a good way, of course), I started to be myself again and was making friends (diverse ethnicity) and getting involved with loads of projects and activities which required me to do a lot of networking. 

Working life was pretty awesome too. 

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None of the things that happened to me in school happened to me again in university or at work. 

They embrace differences and uniqueness and you thrive in the environment by capitalising on your skills and capabilities.

OWH! 

By the way, those girls who prohibited us from talking to the boys in school? 

Most of them ended up marrying the boys.

*Face palm like a gazillion times!