11.30am:
I messaged hubby to say that we were at home, just waiting for the time to see him.
I planned to leave the house around 3pm so that the kids had sufficient rest and a proper meal at home before we left for the hospital.
On another note, the ICU doesn't provide a chair for visitors to sit next to the patient.
I shared with hubby that Lil' Tot said "We miss Daddy, right Ummi?"
My heart sank when she said those words because she had not seen Daddy for the entire day yesterday and probably today too.
3pm:
We left for the hospital but spent the majority of our time at the waiting area considering that hubby was not awake.
Luckily, my brother was around to help entertain Lil' Tot whilst I looked after The Baby.
We checked in with the nurses on his condition from time to time.
5pm:
Hubby's boss dropped by the hospital to see me.
She knew that she couldn't see hubby but she was adamant to see me, to see how I was holding up.
It was such a kind gesture from her.
7.30pm:
We went to the cafe for dinner, performed our prayers and waited for my mother and father to arrive at the hospital.
Lil' Tot fell asleep on the sofa.
9pm:
As Lil' Tot was asleep, my brother helped look after her whilst my mother, father, The Baby and I went to the ICU to visit hubby.
My parents went in to see hubby first and The Baby fell asleep when I held her outside the ICU.
My mother then came out to take The Baby from me so that I could go in to see hubby.
Hubby was awake.
He doesn't remember a lot of things ie the name of the hospital and for the fact that he was in the ICU.
He was even worried about how the kids and I coped whilst he was in the ICU.
The hospital had planned to conduct an MRI the following day but it all depended on whether his BP could be stabilised.
The nurse told me that each time hubby woke up, his BP would increase as he would start thinking about work, his staff, office emails, the family and tried to recall what had actually happened to him.
11.16pm:
I put both kids to sleep and updated hubby on what happened today via a message to his mobile.
Both Lil' Tot and The Baby were so wonderful throughout the days we were at the hospital.
It was as if they understood the predicament that I was going through and they're making it easy for me to manage things.
Monday 29 February 2016
Sunday 28 February 2016
The Stroke Story: Day 1
3.30am:
Hubby's phone alarm went off so I knew that hubby needed to go to work really early.
4am:
Hubby left for work and told me that he'd probably come home early.
Hubby often comes home late even if he goes to work really early in the morning so I advised him that he should be home earlier today.
9.40am:
I sent a message to hubby, to confirm if he'll be coming home by lunch so that I was able to get lunch ready by the time he reaches home.
He replied that he'll be home early.
1.24pm:
I received a phone call from hubby's colleague whilst I was in the kitchen.
In fact, his colleague tried calling me twice.
I called his colleague back, unfortunately he didn't answer the phone. So I sent a message to hubby to ask if everything was OK.
No response from hubby.
Instead, I received a phone call from his colleague who advised that hubby was in the clinic accompanied by 4 of his colleagues and that the GP had referred hubby to go to the hospital urgently.
I was dumbfounded but his colleague said that they'll arrange to send him to the hospital and that they'll wait for me there.
My heart sank as I had no idea what had happened to him.
Since he was on his way to the hospital, I packed a night bag for him, myself and the kids.
I fed Lil' Tot her lunch and got her to take a shower.
I changed The Baby's clothes too.
I performed my prayers and by the time we managed to get ourselves ready, it was already 3pm.
3pm:
His colleague called to advise the hospital he was sent to and that they'll wait until I arrived with the kids.
Hubby was taken to the ER (Red Zone).
3.30pm:
I was shaking, extremely worried and drove to the hospital with 2 kids in tow.
Parking was extremely limited and I felt a bit emotional at that point.
Thank God, as I was about to exit the parking lot, a vehicle left a vacant parking spot and I immediately took it.
I walked with the kids to the ER and his colleague met us there, took us to the ER to see him.
She advised that she had made arrangements for him to be admitted.
As we went to see him in the ER, he was asleep.
When we tried to talk to him or wake him up, he did not even stir.
4pm:
His colleague advised me that she needed to leave the hospital to go back to the office but promised to come again to the hospital later that evening.
Lil' Tot, The Baby and I were left by his side, waiting for the next instruction/action by the hospital.
I was carrying The Baby and there was only one chair so I asked Lil' Tot to sit instead.
4.15pm:
They took him away to perform a CT scan.
4.30pm:
They wheeled him back to the ER and we waited some more.
5pm:
A staff brought a wheel chair and tried to wake him up so that he could be brought to the ward.
Hubby did not wake up.
The staff went off to look for a nurse but by the time he came back, hubby was awake as I managed to stir him from his sleep.
I slipped on his shoes for him and he managed to get down from the bed and onto the wheelchair with assistance.
As we reached the ward, they placed him on the bed.
Hubby suddenly needed to go to the bathroom.
The nurse advised me to watch out for him, in case he collapses again.
5.15pm:
A nurse and a doctor came to the ward.
The doctor said that hubby had bleeding in his brain but didn't elaborate further.
He urgently told the nurse that hubby needed to be sent to the ICU.
5.30pm:
We followed 2 nurses who pushed hubby to the ICU.
As we reached the floor, they advised me to wait at the waiting lounge with the kids.
I can't remember when I sent a message to my family to notify them that hubby was admitted into the hospital and was now sent to the ICU.
My mom replied that my brother and father would come over in the evening.
I remembered that I had yet to perform my prayers so I brought both kids along with me to pray.
My mind was just all jumbled up and I felt extremely emotional.
6.30pm:
The kids and I went back to the ICU waiting area and waited some more.
A nurse finally came looking for me and told me that I could see hubby but no kids were allowed so she would help hold The Baby for me and Lil' Tot would stand outside with her.
I felt a grip on my heart as I walked into the ICU and saw him sleeping on the bed with tubes everywhere.
I tried to wake hubby up but he did not even stir.
I asked the nurse if he was on medication and they said that he was, considering that he has bleeding in his brain so he's not conscious.
At this point, I totally broke down in front of her as I wasn't sure what was going on.
The nurse advised me that she'll need to check with the doctor for further explanation.
7pm:
As it was already late and I was sure Lil' Tot was hungry, I brought her down to the cafe for dinner.
The Baby was hungry too so I breastfed her as well.
7.30pm:
I saw my brother and father walk into the hospital and they came over to the cafe to sit with us.
Not long after, some of hubby's office colleagues arrived at the hospital as well and sat down at the table with us.
We took turns to perform our prayers.
I left The Baby with my brother for a brief moment to pray.
8pm:
We went up to the ICU floor and stood outside.
I had wanted to go in and see hubby but the nurse told me to wait outside for awhile as they had to attend to him first.
The entire group stood outside and waited with me.
9pm:
The group slowly left the hospital as they all had to work early the following day.
Only the kids, my brother, father and I were left.
I knew that the kids were extremely tired, especially Lil' Tot.
I was exhausted myself.
I went in to see hubby.
He had gone back to sleep but I managed to wake him up for awhile to chat.
He doesn't remember anything but only asked where he was and asked about work.
10pm:
We managed to meet his Neurologist.
I went to see the Neurologist whilst my brother looked after the kids outside the ICU.
The Neurologist confirmed that hubby suffered a stroke and there was internal bleeding in his right-brain.
One of his arteries was ruptured.
The Neurologist showed me the source of the bleeding via a CT Scan image and the blood had also gone into the water space.
The doctor predicted that he would need to be held in the ICU for approximately 5 days where they'll also monitor his BP to ensure that it was stable.
The reading of his BP was 240 (top reading) at the time of admission.
The doctor also advised that they would conduct an MRI scan to see the extent of the bleeding.
To manage the bleeding, hubby will also be prescribed with steroids as there was inflammation in the brain.
10.45pm:
We left the hospital.
I'm utterly grateful that my brother was around to help me with the kids.
I was too exhausted to drive so he drove us home.
As the kids were already in their PJs, I just had to make sure that The Baby's diaper was changed before putting them both to sleep.
Once they fell asleep, I was finally able to hit the showers and performed my prayers.
11pm:
As I placed my head on the pillow and glanced over at hubby's side of the bed, I broke down, crying.
My emotions took over, my mind just went blank and I just kept crying.
Day 2
12.48am:
I still couldn't sleep.
I sent a message to hubby's phone instead, although his phone was with me (his colleague helped return his phone and wallet).
In my mind, I prayed that hubby would get better again and that he would read the messages I sent him on his mobile.
As I typed up the message for him, summarizing the day's event, my tears couldn't stop flowing.
I miss him terribly.
I dozed in and out of sleep, I don't think I had a solid sleep that night.
Hubby's phone alarm went off so I knew that hubby needed to go to work really early.
4am:
Hubby left for work and told me that he'd probably come home early.
Hubby often comes home late even if he goes to work really early in the morning so I advised him that he should be home earlier today.
9.40am:
I sent a message to hubby, to confirm if he'll be coming home by lunch so that I was able to get lunch ready by the time he reaches home.
He replied that he'll be home early.
1.24pm:
I received a phone call from hubby's colleague whilst I was in the kitchen.
In fact, his colleague tried calling me twice.
I called his colleague back, unfortunately he didn't answer the phone. So I sent a message to hubby to ask if everything was OK.
No response from hubby.
Instead, I received a phone call from his colleague who advised that hubby was in the clinic accompanied by 4 of his colleagues and that the GP had referred hubby to go to the hospital urgently.
I was dumbfounded but his colleague said that they'll arrange to send him to the hospital and that they'll wait for me there.
My heart sank as I had no idea what had happened to him.
Since he was on his way to the hospital, I packed a night bag for him, myself and the kids.
I fed Lil' Tot her lunch and got her to take a shower.
I changed The Baby's clothes too.
I performed my prayers and by the time we managed to get ourselves ready, it was already 3pm.
3pm:
His colleague called to advise the hospital he was sent to and that they'll wait until I arrived with the kids.
Hubby was taken to the ER (Red Zone).
3.30pm:
I was shaking, extremely worried and drove to the hospital with 2 kids in tow.
Parking was extremely limited and I felt a bit emotional at that point.
Thank God, as I was about to exit the parking lot, a vehicle left a vacant parking spot and I immediately took it.
I walked with the kids to the ER and his colleague met us there, took us to the ER to see him.
She advised that she had made arrangements for him to be admitted.
As we went to see him in the ER, he was asleep.
When we tried to talk to him or wake him up, he did not even stir.
4pm:
His colleague advised me that she needed to leave the hospital to go back to the office but promised to come again to the hospital later that evening.
Lil' Tot, The Baby and I were left by his side, waiting for the next instruction/action by the hospital.
I was carrying The Baby and there was only one chair so I asked Lil' Tot to sit instead.
4.15pm:
They took him away to perform a CT scan.
4.30pm:
They wheeled him back to the ER and we waited some more.
5pm:
A staff brought a wheel chair and tried to wake him up so that he could be brought to the ward.
Hubby did not wake up.
The staff went off to look for a nurse but by the time he came back, hubby was awake as I managed to stir him from his sleep.
I slipped on his shoes for him and he managed to get down from the bed and onto the wheelchair with assistance.
As we reached the ward, they placed him on the bed.
Hubby suddenly needed to go to the bathroom.
The nurse advised me to watch out for him, in case he collapses again.
5.15pm:
A nurse and a doctor came to the ward.
The doctor said that hubby had bleeding in his brain but didn't elaborate further.
He urgently told the nurse that hubby needed to be sent to the ICU.
5.30pm:
We followed 2 nurses who pushed hubby to the ICU.
As we reached the floor, they advised me to wait at the waiting lounge with the kids.
I can't remember when I sent a message to my family to notify them that hubby was admitted into the hospital and was now sent to the ICU.
My mom replied that my brother and father would come over in the evening.
I remembered that I had yet to perform my prayers so I brought both kids along with me to pray.
My mind was just all jumbled up and I felt extremely emotional.
6.30pm:
The kids and I went back to the ICU waiting area and waited some more.
A nurse finally came looking for me and told me that I could see hubby but no kids were allowed so she would help hold The Baby for me and Lil' Tot would stand outside with her.
I felt a grip on my heart as I walked into the ICU and saw him sleeping on the bed with tubes everywhere.
I tried to wake hubby up but he did not even stir.
I asked the nurse if he was on medication and they said that he was, considering that he has bleeding in his brain so he's not conscious.
At this point, I totally broke down in front of her as I wasn't sure what was going on.
The nurse advised me that she'll need to check with the doctor for further explanation.
7pm:
As it was already late and I was sure Lil' Tot was hungry, I brought her down to the cafe for dinner.
The Baby was hungry too so I breastfed her as well.
7.30pm:
I saw my brother and father walk into the hospital and they came over to the cafe to sit with us.
Not long after, some of hubby's office colleagues arrived at the hospital as well and sat down at the table with us.
We took turns to perform our prayers.
I left The Baby with my brother for a brief moment to pray.
8pm:
We went up to the ICU floor and stood outside.
I had wanted to go in and see hubby but the nurse told me to wait outside for awhile as they had to attend to him first.
The entire group stood outside and waited with me.
9pm:
The group slowly left the hospital as they all had to work early the following day.
Only the kids, my brother, father and I were left.
I knew that the kids were extremely tired, especially Lil' Tot.
I was exhausted myself.
I went in to see hubby.
He had gone back to sleep but I managed to wake him up for awhile to chat.
He doesn't remember anything but only asked where he was and asked about work.
10pm:
We managed to meet his Neurologist.
I went to see the Neurologist whilst my brother looked after the kids outside the ICU.
The Neurologist confirmed that hubby suffered a stroke and there was internal bleeding in his right-brain.
One of his arteries was ruptured.
The Neurologist showed me the source of the bleeding via a CT Scan image and the blood had also gone into the water space.
The doctor predicted that he would need to be held in the ICU for approximately 5 days where they'll also monitor his BP to ensure that it was stable.
The reading of his BP was 240 (top reading) at the time of admission.
The doctor also advised that they would conduct an MRI scan to see the extent of the bleeding.
To manage the bleeding, hubby will also be prescribed with steroids as there was inflammation in the brain.
10.45pm:
We left the hospital.
I'm utterly grateful that my brother was around to help me with the kids.
I was too exhausted to drive so he drove us home.
As the kids were already in their PJs, I just had to make sure that The Baby's diaper was changed before putting them both to sleep.
Once they fell asleep, I was finally able to hit the showers and performed my prayers.
11pm:
As I placed my head on the pillow and glanced over at hubby's side of the bed, I broke down, crying.
My emotions took over, my mind just went blank and I just kept crying.
Day 2
12.48am:
I still couldn't sleep.
I sent a message to hubby's phone instead, although his phone was with me (his colleague helped return his phone and wallet).
In my mind, I prayed that hubby would get better again and that he would read the messages I sent him on his mobile.
As I typed up the message for him, summarizing the day's event, my tears couldn't stop flowing.
I miss him terribly.
I dozed in and out of sleep, I don't think I had a solid sleep that night.
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