A Day in the life of a SAHM

I was recently compared to a dear friend who has four kids and is a SAHM who also runs a business. 

She has managed to run the house brilliantly and set a schedule for her children; aged between 6 months to 4 years old. 

It is to the tee including their seating arrangement during meal times and incorporated play and study times. 

Not to mention that she cooks as well! 

Her children are obedient and listens to her instructions, well, maybe throws their tantrums once in awhile. 

One of the ideas given to me was to also run a business and manage my lil' rainbow ... and the following was highlighted: 

"Well, you can run a business as you have only one child which you can obviously manage". 

They don't know my lil' rainbow like how hubby and I do ... her curiosity level is extremely high and she couldn't care less if she would be endangering herself. 

To her, the world is safe and she can do anything and everything she wants.

I feel like a failure for not being able to have a schedule like my friend and grasping for tips online ... yes, try to Google "Schedule of a SAHM" and you'll know what I mean :)

Ultimately, through trial and error, you will soon find out that you will need to work the schedule around the child and not vice versa. 

Every child is unique ... each household is different and runs according to the different personalities inhabiting it.

So, for any schedule you have drawn up, give it a little flexibility and don't stress yourself out ... they may change depending on your child ...

DAILY 

(Mon - Fri)

6am "ME" time for prayers, etc

8am  Lil' Rainbow wakes up. Breakfast together.

9am  Lil' Rainbow bathes and plays whilst I prepare meals in the kitchen.

11am Snack time and prepare for morning nap.

1pm  Lil' Rainbow wakes up for lunch.

3pm  Prepare for afternoon nap, I bf her and usually fall asleep together as she tends to cling for hours.

5pm Lil' Rainbow wakes up and plays. If the weather permits, we either go for a swim or go to the playground.

7pm Lil' Rainbow has her dinner and bathes with Daddy. Spends quality time with Daddy.

8pm Prepare for bedtime. 

9pm "ME" time ie watch movies, etc. 

You could incorporate laundry and other chores as well ... leave the vacuuming / bathroom cleaning for the weekend as hubby will help look after baby / toddler.

Sat / Sun

Flexible day ... ie host lunch / dinner with friends / family over, attend invites / events, shopping, etc. 

WEEKLY (Specifically for managing house chores and once you have identified the time / hours you won't be disturbed)

* Again, this is just an outline and as a reminder so you don't forget. 

Mon

Laundry

Tue

Clean floors and kitchen

Wed

Grocery shopping

Thu

Laundry

Fri

Clean bathrooms

If you don't have a schedule, that's okay as long as you can manage the important ones ie feeding the child and not forgetting, yourself!

Good luck! :D

Number 2?

Yes, I am constantly being thrown the question of having a second child now and again. 

People were more interested to ask this question as opposed to asking how I was coping or how my baby was progressing / recent developments.

What's wrong with me having one child for now? 

As if having ONE child is a sign that I'm a selfish mother ... that I don't wish to conceive another.

At times, I just want to be mean and ask them back these questions:

Would you like to conceive for me?

Carry the baby the entire 9 months for me?

Deliver the baby for me, be it SVD or C-Sec?

Endure the 40-day or 100-days confinement period for me?

Care for the new baby AND at the same time, my Lil' Rainbow for me?

Have sleepless nights as baby transitions from the womb into the world and have difficulty sleeping?

Breastfeed baby and suffer cracked nipples for me?

Suffer baby blues for me?

I can list out several other questions and am soooo interested to know how they answer!

Ok, I'm not THAT mean ... I won't ask those questions despite me having the urge to do so and mentally asking them and calming myself down at the same time! 

In turn, I'd just smile and say, "No plans yet."

THEN when you thought it would end there ... they'll go, "But WHY? You're not getting any younger" or "She needs a younger sibling to play with" or "At least you need 2 kids so that it won't get lonely when they grow up" bla bla bla bla bla bla!!!!!!

They have NO idea ... 

That I'm scared ... 

Of getting pregnant again and delivering a second baby ... 

It hurts, really does. 

Every step of the first delivery is still fresh in my mind and it seems so recent, though it has been almost 17 months ago.

But some people just can't empathize and even compared me with other mothers who have more than one child. 

Let me be, please, for now. 

It's my body and it is me who has to endure it ... not you ... 

I'm SICK of the question ... 

I either just smile and not say a word or avoid the question entirely (change subject).

When the time comes for me to get pregnant the second time, it will come and I shall leave that to God the Almighty.

It is MY second child so let me do things MY way ... 

If I happen to conceive, it's God's will and I shall accept it wholeheartedly.

Mothers Need Pampering Too!

Lil' Rainbow will turn 17 months old soon am I'm proud to say that I still bf her ... Though she REALLY tends to cling on for hours, especially during afternoon naps and wakes up every 2 hours at night .... Eek! 

Find myself having body aches from lying on one side too long and the fact that she tugs at times when she's dozing off or trying to get comfortable.

I had a super duper headache last weekend and could barely open my eyes. 

I literally had to lie down and sleep it off after downing 2 pills. 

Lil' Rainbow was such a darling as she seemed to understand that I was in pain. 

She visited me in the room from time to time, standing by the bedside and called out for me. 

When I looked at her, she smiled and played with her toy, not once climbing onto the bed and wanting to disturb me. 

I had no energy to even sit and kept apologizing to her. 

She went her merry way to find Daddy to play with.

It was the first time ever I've experienced such pain.

I decided to get a traditional massage. 

I was told that since I lay on one side too long, it affected my womb and true enough, when my tummy was massaged, I could feel a slight pain on the left-side. 

She applied subtle pressures at first and slowly worked her way around my tummy. 

After awhile, walla! No more pain!

She told me to rotate sides when I bf and not stay on one position for too long. 

Moreover, since it has been quite some time that I had actually gone for a massage, she told me to get at least monthly massages so that I feel better since I've already developed a severe headache.

For me, getting a full body massage is my way of being pampered and I'm a happy mother already!

Breastpump: Manual vs Electronic

Lil' princess is 14 months old now and she's still breastfeeding ... yeay!

I also need to top-up with formula as I don't pump enough at work.

I make it up to her as I would bf her in the evenings when I'm home and  when she occasionally wakes up in the night ... 

Yes, she still manages to 'climb' into our bed! :)

I'm thankful that the nursing room at work can accommodate 4 people at any one time. 

They have installed proper curtains in the room for more privacy, comfortable sofas and of course, a small fridge for you to store your milk.

I can go there anytime I want, except during lunchtime, as this would be the peak hour for all moms to rush their pumping session.

I know of one mother who has lunch AND pumps at the same time ... she'll only have biscuits or bread for lunch as it would be easier for her to manage the food and pump.

I know of one or two mothers who use the manual pump. 

I do pity them as they take quite a long time to complete their pumping session. 

They would ask me if it's better to use single or double pump, I proposed to them that double pump is faster.

My Medela Swing is handy for me as I use recyclable battery and it is small but I can only pump one breast at a time so it's not quite efficient. 

I am quite the stubborn one as hubby wanted to buy me the double pump but at that point of time when I was still on maternity leave and bf on demand, I said that it wasn't necessary...

If hubby is reading this entry, he'll surely say, told-you-so. :D

Anyhoo, yes, manual pumps are time consuming and for single pumps, suggest you get the double pump if you are a working mom ...

Prince Court Part 3 - Cost of baby delivery

My wife delivered our baby in Prince Court Medical Centre back in June 2011 costing roughly around RM 4.9k (self pay GLC probably double) 

View from the front. Image credit to PCMC FB page

THE VIEW from our room

Stayed 4 days 3 nights since our baby needed medical attention. 

I even asked the cashier 3-4 times on the total bill as it was below our expected budget.

Natural delivery without epidural: 

RM 3k+

Baby Handling Cost: 

RM 1K +

How a standard room looks like.
*Picture credit to PCMC official website

Single Standard Room - RM 150* / per night = RM 450

*Comes with 4 meals Breakfast / Lunch / Tea /Dinner. The food was marvelous too, salmon as lunch and tiramisu as dessert to name a few. For the record you can hardly get a decent room around Bukit Bintang or KLCC area inclusive food with this range or RM 150.00 seriously. 
* Room rate as of 2011.

(Below is their latest room rates)

*Above rates are linked to PCMC website

Miscellaneous pediatrician visit + hearing test bla bla bla: RM 500+

(Our baby was suspected to suffer from a hearing problem on the left ear which needed her to go through some follow up tests. This sort of test is not normally done at normal hospitals this early but being a new parent we just don't want to risk it)

Night view from the room

Dr Paul Tay is THE BEST you can find in the hospital for consultation + charges wise. 

Even internally (I've asked personally) the nurses in PCMC preferred Dr Paul Tay (Their employee delivery are covered by the hospital and they can pick a doctor too. Awesome). 

The charges he estimated prior to delivery (natural) is around 5k or could be more subject to delivery. 

Piece of advise, always ask your doctor for detailed charges like delivery during weekend charges, public holiday, after hours, complication and c-section. 

I know a number of private hospitals are charging each of the thing mentioned above, separately, which will lead to a bill of more than RM 10000+.

I've asked Dr Paul exactly for the above condition, his reply "We can't control when the baby wants to come out unless if it's via c-section, regardless the time and date my charges are the same." 

There and then we are sold with the idea.

The rooms are 1st class and the midwife are excellent too. 

Switching our consultation from Ampang Puteri to PCMC was the BEST DECISION EVER!!! 

Imagine, Ampang Puteri charges nothing less than RM 180.00 regardless with or without medication and most of the time it is more than RM 250+.  

I feel that the docs hardly gave any useful advise / something new. 

Our 4 visits to Ampang Puteri is blown to pieces just by 1 visit to Dr Paul Tay. 

*Lots of parking for visiting family + private room + flexible visiting hours are added benefit. (You can also have visitors till late at night).

The only bad experience is with Pediatrician Dr. Sharmila who appears not professional at all! 

Doing her rounds late and appear messy with long untied hair. 

She was having flu and holding and inspecting babies without a mask which is chargeable at Rm 300+! (True story).

Anyway, we switched to Dr Anthony James (who is really REALLY good!). 

The follow up consultation fees were a bit steep but we were more than happy to go.

For the husbands, here are a few things you can do to calm down or to kill time. 

Lots of beautiful sculptures around + nice architecture too.

*For the ladies, my wife will be responding to your questions if any.

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Can I Bring A Camera to the Hospital Delivery Room?

She is a strong lady and will always love her

Is digital camera allowed in the labor room? 

Can I document the delivery procedure? 

Is the doctor alright with me recording the operation? 

Can I take a video during delivery? 

Any specific restrictions for cameras during delivery? 

Can I take the picture with my camera phone when my baby arrives?

I believe these are some of the questions asked by first-time parents and those who have digital toys at their disposal. 

This was the main reason why we chose a hospital which allowed cameras to be brought into the labor room.

For the record, both Ampang Puteri Hospital and Prince Court Medical Centre allows the husband to record the entire delivery procedure on the digital camera of your choice; DSLR / video camera / mobile phone. 

However, I did not ask if a professional photographer or other family members were allowed to be in the labor room.

They didn't even allow my in-laws to enter the delivery room (PCMC).

Even if you were allowed to bring in a camera, will you be able to handle the recording yourself? 

Would you be able to remain calm and composed whilst your other half is fighting for her life delivering your baby? 

Can you concentrate? 

Is your wife OK to be left in the care of the doctor and nurses? (she's not screaming for you to be next to her)

If all the above is a YES, good for you, buddy! 

Congratulations and good luck in taking your baby's arrival pictures! 

As for me, I have all the above ticked but my conscious told me that I need to be next to my beloved and offer support and encouragement. 

The best part was when the doctor had a huge spotlight switched on during the procedure while he was seated between 2 nurses. 

It felt so surreal as the lighting and the scenario is just so picturesque, I felt like grabbing my camera to shoot. 

Only for my conscious to get the best of me to stay put and not go anywhere.

She is just a few minutes old when this picture was taken

Once the baby is out, that's when you have to be quick and smart. 

Kiss the wifey and azan the baby (for Muslims) while shooting a video at the same time. 

I had the opportunity to record the historic moment and definitely going to treasure this for years to come. 

So, to all fathers out there, make full use of your digital equipment to freeze time and capture your own timeless event. 

Good luck and break a leg!

What I am missing ...

9pm: I was still at work when I called home. 

My lil' angel repeatedly said "Ummi" upon hearing my voice. 

My heart sank. 

All I wanted was to be next to her, hug her & kiss her ... Alas, I was quite a distance from home & it was raining heavily. 

It would take me an hour to reach home with the massive traffic :( 

Today was a crazy Monday and everyday, I vow to go home early around 5pm or 6pm but always end up leaving around this time ... 

By the time I reach home, she was fast asleep on the sofa with her daddy ... 

 I could only cradle her & hug her while listening to stories from hubby on the activities they did earlier in the evening.

A Day in the life of a Working Mom ... First-Time Mom

I'm a first-time mom struggling to juggle between work and taking care of my newborn baby. 

Learning the ropes of managing time, energy and of course, having enough sleep ... which doesn't come by easy nowadays. 

But I try ... only God knows how hard I try ...

5am: 

Alarm goes off, "Snooze", '5-more-minute-sleep' debate in my head. 

Lil' Rainbow was in and out of sleep the previous night, wanting to feed. 

Solution: breastfeed, Position: Lying down.

5.30am: 

Alarm goes off ... AGAIN! ... 

Wake up and make sure baby is still asleep. 

Hubby's side of the bed is empty as he has gone off to work earlier and arranged his pillows accordingly so that she doesn't roll off the bed ...

Quick dash to the bathroom, pack baby's bag to bring to the nanny and my bag (breastpump essentials). 

Stand for 2 minutes or so in front of the cupboard to pick out my attire (men really have it easy, don't have to think twice on choosing what to wear)

6.15am: 

Scoop baby off the bed and into the car, drive over to nanny's to drop her off. 

Quick chat with nanny and baby (she always wakes up when she hears the car door open) which often lasts 15 minutes. 

I nervously glance at my watch, conscious of the time ... yes, worrying about the bad KL traffic. 

6.30am: 

Kiss baby goodbye and off to work I go ... drive along MRR2 past the DUKE exit (whichever smart guy invented the DUKE exit converging into MRR2 which always causes bad traffic during rush hour, I have no idea ... but he's definitely not helping ease the congestion in my area at all! ), drive onto AKLEH exit into Jln Tun Razak and drive onto the KL-Putrajaya highway heading to Cyberjaya.

7.30am: 

Arrive safely at the office. 

Open up emails etc (which often is never less than 100 ... do people LOVE sending out emails nowadays, even for one-liners?)

8.00am - late: 

Meetings, discussions, conferences, emails, etc all in a day's work. 

Squeeze 2 breastpump sessions which lasts 10 minutes minimum and a quick lunch.

Heading home ... depends ... if there no more meetings late in the evenings, I'm able to leave the office ... else, I'll be stuck until late at night ... bummer!

The drive home takes another hour or possibly more if I happen to drive during rush hour. 

Once I reach home, I often find hubby sitting in front of his PC and lil' princess crawling on the floor or dancing to "The Wheels on the Bus" or watching a local cartoon series, "Boboi Boy" ...

I spend the rest of the evening on the sofa breastfeeding lil' princess whilst talking to hubby or watching my TV series. 

My sleep at night is often 2 hours max without any disruption until lil' princess wants to feed. 

Most of the time, my sleeping position is either on my left or right side, since I am breastfeeding her. 

Cycle continues, I often wake up the next morning with a sore back ...

Salute to all mothers out there ... 

I know that it draws out a lot of energy from you, particularly if you also have high work demands.

Hang in there, mommies!