What I am missing ...

9pm: I was still at work when I called home. 

My lil' angel repeatedly said "Ummi" upon hearing my voice. 

My heart sank. 

All I wanted was to be next to her, hug her & kiss her ... Alas, I was quite a distance from home & it was raining heavily. 

It would take me an hour to reach home with the massive traffic :( 

Today was a crazy Monday and everyday, I vow to go home early around 5pm or 6pm but always end up leaving around this time ... 

By the time I reach home, she was fast asleep on the sofa with her daddy ... 

 I could only cradle her & hug her while listening to stories from hubby on the activities they did earlier in the evening.

A Day in the life of a Working Mom ... First-Time Mom

I'm a first-time mom struggling to juggle between work and taking care of my newborn baby. 

Learning the ropes of managing time, energy and of course, having enough sleep ... which doesn't come by easy nowadays. 

But I try ... only God knows how hard I try ...

5am: 

Alarm goes off, "Snooze", '5-more-minute-sleep' debate in my head. 

Lil' Rainbow was in and out of sleep the previous night, wanting to feed. 

Solution: breastfeed, Position: Lying down.

5.30am: 

Alarm goes off ... AGAIN! ... 

Wake up and make sure baby is still asleep. 

Hubby's side of the bed is empty as he has gone off to work earlier and arranged his pillows accordingly so that she doesn't roll off the bed ...

Quick dash to the bathroom, pack baby's bag to bring to the nanny and my bag (breastpump essentials). 

Stand for 2 minutes or so in front of the cupboard to pick out my attire (men really have it easy, don't have to think twice on choosing what to wear)

6.15am: 

Scoop baby off the bed and into the car, drive over to nanny's to drop her off. 

Quick chat with nanny and baby (she always wakes up when she hears the car door open) which often lasts 15 minutes. 

I nervously glance at my watch, conscious of the time ... yes, worrying about the bad KL traffic. 

6.30am: 

Kiss baby goodbye and off to work I go ... drive along MRR2 past the DUKE exit (whichever smart guy invented the DUKE exit converging into MRR2 which always causes bad traffic during rush hour, I have no idea ... but he's definitely not helping ease the congestion in my area at all! ), drive onto AKLEH exit into Jln Tun Razak and drive onto the KL-Putrajaya highway heading to Cyberjaya.

7.30am: 

Arrive safely at the office. 

Open up emails etc (which often is never less than 100 ... do people LOVE sending out emails nowadays, even for one-liners?)

8.00am - late: 

Meetings, discussions, conferences, emails, etc all in a day's work. 

Squeeze 2 breastpump sessions which lasts 10 minutes minimum and a quick lunch.

Heading home ... depends ... if there no more meetings late in the evenings, I'm able to leave the office ... else, I'll be stuck until late at night ... bummer!

The drive home takes another hour or possibly more if I happen to drive during rush hour. 

Once I reach home, I often find hubby sitting in front of his PC and lil' princess crawling on the floor or dancing to "The Wheels on the Bus" or watching a local cartoon series, "Boboi Boy" ...

I spend the rest of the evening on the sofa breastfeeding lil' princess whilst talking to hubby or watching my TV series. 

My sleep at night is often 2 hours max without any disruption until lil' princess wants to feed. 

Most of the time, my sleeping position is either on my left or right side, since I am breastfeeding her. 

Cycle continues, I often wake up the next morning with a sore back ...

Salute to all mothers out there ... 

I know that it draws out a lot of energy from you, particularly if you also have high work demands.

Hang in there, mommies! 

The R3turn ... to work

Noooooo ... can I NOT go back to work?

This was how I felt on Sunday evening.

I cried my heart out ... cried my baby a stream, a river, a sea.

Separation anxiety, couldn't bear to think of parting with my beloved lil' princess. 

Gosh, I really can't describe the feeling but I now understand how a mother feels when they know that they will no longer spend the whole day with their child whom they took care of for the past 3 months.

How do you face leaving your small baby at home whilst you are away at work? Can you even concentrate on work at all? 

Come Monday morning ... 

I've got to admit, it was slightly chaotic for me as I ticked off the things to pack in my baby's bag AND my bag too!

I had packed her bag the night before and ensured that I had the ice packs, breast pump and storage bottles ready for me to bring to the office.

The tick sheet was more of ensuring that I've got it all and didn't miss out on anything (kinda paranoid if I were to realize in the office that I'd miss out ANY of her stuff!).

As I dropped her off at the nanny's house and had a chat with the nanny, I could find myself calm down as I trust the nanny completely, seeing how my lil' princess was comfortably nestled in the nanny's arms, without a care in the world.

In the office ... 

I struggled with the breast pump as I had to spend approximately 20 minutes away from my desk each time. 

Hubby was right, should have gotten the double pump instead (knocking my head now since I was adamant to use the single pump, thinking that it was more convenient to carry to the office.)

Mon evening ... 

Hubby fetched me from the office, bringing along our lil' princess. 

She was already in her pyjamas, smelling all nice and the minute I held her in my arms, she was smiling broadly.

I held her tight ... didn't want to let go as I had missed her so damn much, even though it was only for 10 hours or so ...

It's been 4 days and I've gotten the hang of this routine, though it's tiring ... but all is well the minute I see hubby and her ... 

I love them both to bits!